Extra!! Extra!! Read All About It!!!

 

Hello World:

Well, I did it! I graduated from Partners In Policymaking! And it was no small feat either. For those of you who don't know what it is, PIP is an advocacy training program providing families and individuals the tools to effectively exercise their rights as citizens and cultivate a more inclusive society. It's an eight month long program and a huge commitment, so I want to thank everyone involved in making this happen.

I especially want to thank my daughter, Mia, who is the reason I was there in the first place.

In fact, she's the cause behind Helping Kids Together; it's not likely I would be doing any of this if not for her and I would be missing out on a lot, too! She leads me with her examples and I learn by doing; WE are helping kids together. She really is the driving force. I just steer the buggy, and she can tell you first hand we have ended up in the wrong direction on more than one occasion. But we always have a good time, with plenty of stories to take home. She inspires me in so many ways, and I am so proud to be her mom. By her very being, she is responsible directly and indirectly for my contact with all the others mentioned in this post.

Beginning with of course, my dear Tom, a true original! I love Tom! He's one of the most worldly-wise people I know and never at a loss for something positive to say. An incredibly well read and diverse person, he blends in wherever he finds himself and knows no strangers or foe. His colorful personality and views have added a richness to my life. His laughter is contagious, and he keeps our household alive with his offbeat antics and tales. He also keeps us on track with his daily rituals and belief in the value of doing what has to be done and moving forward. As a giving person, he's always willing to help, pitching in where he needs to and ready at the wheel. Not to mention he goes along with all the wild adventures that come our way, and if he doesn't want to go, he tells us to spread our wings and fly. We do, too. Southwest mostly.

Then there's Brenda Jay, a close family friend who's always on standby waiting to find out what she can do to help. As a woman who wears many different hats, no job is too big or small for her to tackle.  Whether it's being there for Mia or running errands to keep me on schedule, I honestly couldn't have done any of this without her assistance, so she deserves a lot of credit!  As my trustworthy stand-in, she made it possible for me to participate in Partner's In Policymaking by helping Mia take care of herself while I was away from home for the classes.  That was PRICELESS!!!  It was no small coincidence, the very last presenter of PIP--in the very last hour mind you--showed a video of first-class, inclusive attitudes in action, taking place at one of the trendiest eateries in Ann Arbor, Michigan--which just so happens to be where Brenda's daughter lives. Naturally, a gift certificate was in order because Brenda makes frequent trips to Ann Arbor and LOVES to go out to eat so I know I'll get a first hand report of her dining experience! (If anybody is curious to know, it's called Zingermans's Deli and Bakehouse and is definitely a place to put on the radar when heading in that direction. They are famous for more good things besides food. www.zingermansdeli.com) Sounds like there could be a roadtrip in our future!!

I cannot forget Brandie Martine! Brandie's a friend of mine who is also a Partner's graduate and needs to be commended for doing exactly what one of the goals of the program is: To have graduates actively promote the program to other people who could benefit from the info. I met her last year when the two of us were invited to sit on a parent panel at Fontbonne University's Dedicated Semester forum The Disability Experience where she spoke so highly of her PIP training, stating it was a life-changing event for her. Afterwards, she sent me an email recommending I apply, and I'm thankful I did! Having been through the program, I can honestly attest she was dead on about it. I also need to thank Drs. Dennis Golden and Sarah Huisman from Fontbonne for being such advocates for disability awareness and for including me as part of the forum because meeting Brandie alone was a life-changing event. She's a dynamo of energy and I'm happy to know her and her crew. My family and I have made many great new friends through her acquaintance--a treasure worth its weight in gold!!

Hat's off, please, to Pam, Dawn, and the entire network of people behind the MO DD Council who pull Partners together. It's no small task to bring 40 something people cohesively together 8 months straight and keep them all happy. Granted they had help from the nice people at Hilton Garden Inn on Vandiver Drive in Columbia and also Doubletree in Jeff City, who kept us fed, watered and sleeping soundly on very comfy beds. We were never at a loss for something to eat or drink--that is for sure. As an added bonus, getting reimbursed by the State of Missouri for the travel expenses and child care I had to incur to participate proved to be a great savings tool toward the cost of a desperately needed new laptop. This was a huge help! Thank you, Governor Nixon for making this program available in our state!

A standing ovation goes out to the entire seasoned cast of local and national presenters who made up the Partner's lineup. They covered topics starting with the history of disabilities to education and employment. We talked about transportation and housing, planning for disasters, and planning for the future. We learned how to legislate and work together as a community to initiate positive change: All things that pertain to basic human rights; stuff EVERYONE needs to know. However, when you add disabilities into the picture, these issues take on a whole new depth of meaning because there is so much more to consider, and these "basic" human rights are sometimes overlooked or referred to as "options" by people who don't understand the myriad of challenges people with disabilities face. So then these rights have to be fought for. As ludicrous as that seems, it is true. I live it. Luckily, being a part of Partners in Policymaking has given me a toolbox of advocating skills to help change unenlightened thinking in ways that benefit all. The monthly presenters delivered the information from a practical and fact-based standpoint, they got the points across without being preachy. And it wasn't all non-stop lecture; we had plenty of video and team-based interaction to keep us all actively engaged. It was like going on a two-day field trip every month, and I am going to miss it.

Last but not least, I bow in humble gratitude to my classmates. They were the true instructors in the way of building social skills and acceptance because each and every person taught me something valuable to help me be a better person. Even though we were all Missourians, we were a very diverse cultural blend of people with and without disabilities. There were no real differences because culture clash subsides with familiarity. We hung out together and got to know each other during our Friday post-class happy hours. It was a lot of fun staying up late and talking about life. We may not have always agreed with one another, but we learned how to live with each other over the course of time as we realized we all had one thing in common: the desire to be treated with respect, honesty and consideration because we are all people first. What possibly started as self interest, undoubtedly evolved into shared enthusiasm and hope that each of us could do our part to change the world and make it a better place for EVERYBODY!!

 

What it comes down to is civility because let's face it, we're all different and the world doesn't revolve around any one of us; it revolves with ALL of us. History proves it only takes one person to make a difference and then it all snowballs from there because change is a chain reaction. Spread the buzz!!

AB

PS
If any of you curious readers living in the Show Me state would like more info about Partners in Policymaking 2013 please contact Pam Byars at pbyars@moddcouncil.org or click the logo below to read more for yourself

And it doesn't end here! On a national and international level go to:

 

to find out how YOU can get involved to initiate change around the globe! Good luck!!
 

*****An ending note of appreciation goes out to my good friend Patrick Gallagher from Chicago who very graciously devoted his time and literary skills to edit this copy. Thanks Patrick! See how this global thing works!?!

Bee On Time!!! Show some consideration for yourself and others!!!

As the second official week of school is underway, one of the most important things to be mindful of is staying on target with timeframes.  What does this mean?  No dawdling!!!    If you only have ten minutes to eat breakfast before the bus arrives, don't just sit there leisurely taking the time to browse through the comics or the coolest catalog you have just received because here is what could happen....

You are going to get so enthralled with "the latest" that you are going to lose track of what you should be doing and start the whole day off kilter.  Not to mention, your mom will more than likely be crabbing at you the entire time to hurry up and get going!  No thanks!!!  Who needs it!?!

On top of all that:

1. You are going to make the bus driver wait because you weren't paying attention to the clock.   
2. You are going to make everyone else late that is waiting for the bus, because now the bus is behind schedule because of you and that could potentially get the driver in trouble with his bosses.   
3. You are going to gyp yourself out of the energy you need to focus on your schoolwork because you didn't eat all your breakfast.

The point is:  BEE responsible for your SELF!

This applies to homework, obligations and all aspects of your life.  If you've got something to do, do it!   Don't sit around and wait for someone else to tell you what you need to be doing.  It gets very tiresome, not just for you, but for the person who constantly has to say the same things over and over again.  You are growing up for crying out loud and have got to learn how to become self sufficient.  When you get in the real world--out of high school and on to full blown adulthood-- you are going to have to rely on your capabilities as much as possible to take care of yourself.  No matter what your life calls you to do after you graduate twelvth grade, you will eventually have your own habitat.   You will have to grocery shop and pay bills, cook and clean.   And this is on top of all the other stuff that comes with being a grown up.  Maybe even working a job and going to school!   And we're not even talking about having a family of your own to raise.  This is plain old, Jane old, taking care of yourself and keeping up with what you have to do to exist as a living person on this planet.  Keeping in mind the world does not revolve around you, but WITH you and you've got to do your part to keep it moving!

All this being said, another thing you've got to consider: not everyone is as lucky as you.  Some people will never have the chance to live as independent adults because of a disability or other circumstance.  This does not mean they don't want to, so count your blessings and be thankful for the things you CAN do for yourself on the road to being an independent adult.  It is an awesome liberty that not everyone has the pleasure of experiencing for whatever reason. 

So, as a student, now is the time to start gettting your self maintenance routine down because time goes really quickly and you will be out on your own before you know it.  Once you get into a schedule and stick with it you will be amazed at how smoothly your days go and how much better you feel about yourself for being so organized. 

BEE honest with yourself!  Wouldn't you much rather go to school with a smile on your face because you were thinking about how much fun you and your mom had in the morning rather than a scowl because the old lady drives you crazy sometimes?

Your consideration about what you need to be doing, where and when with whom, will take you anywhere you want or need to go.  

Of this you can BEE assured!!!

Back to School! A Must Have...Awareness!

Well- it's that time of year again! 

No time for boo-hooing about growing up too fast here! Lots of good things on the horizon as we connect with old friends and new faces. Opportunities to stand out from the crowd and shine like a star wait at every turn.

It's very exciting but one of the most important things to remember is to be aware.  BEE aware of the world around you. It's always moving and constantly changing, so stay alert!

Here are some handy dandy tips for being a "Do":

When you get out of bed in the morning make sure you put your best face and body forward! Demonstrate respect for yourself and those around you by taking pride in the way you look--and smell!

Before you walk out the door:

Make sure your teeth are brushed and flossed!  No one wants to smell stinky breath or look at last night's dinner.  Or worse yet, a mouthful of scummy buildup. Ga-ross!! Taking proper care of your mouth will keep your smile nice and bright! Let it shine!

Did you put deodorant on after you showered? If you showered the night before, put it on again in the morning because your body sweats a lot when you sleep and you need to reapply. When in doubt think about how you react to body odor on someone else; keeping in mind it is never acceptable to make fun of someone who does have an unpleasant odor about them. Often times people have medical issues that cause them much embarrasment but can't be helped. Talk to the school nurse about someone else's body odor, not your friends!    

What about your nails? How do they look? Dirty? Jagged? Teeth marks? Fix em! Don't walk out the door with hands you wouldn't want to shake yourself! Besides, your hands are tools for creating a masterpiece and they need to be kept in mint condition!

Hair? Keep it clean! Your head sweats like crazy so make sure you really scrub your scalp when you wash it.  Bedhead be gone! Run through it with a brush, comb or even your fingers depending on your hair type. Also, keep it out of your eyes.  Hiding behind a curtain of hair makes eye contact extremely difficult! And we all know how important that is!!! Eye contact! Eye contact! Eye contact!

When you get dressed do so with pride and make sure your clothes are clean and not wrinkled, otherwise it will look like you just pulled them out of the dirty laundry. One of the most important things to remember is: it's not what you wear, but how you wear it that counts. So what if you don't have the hottest trends or the same brands your friends do! Whoever bought the clothes on your back worked hard for the money to buy them so wear them proudly! There is no fun in looking like everyone else anyway! There IS fun to be had shopping thrift stores and vintage boutiques! After all, it's a form of recycling and you can find one of a kind pieces that few are likely to have -- plus it's a great way to develop your own style.

When you get to school be aware of the people around you. If you have mobility equipment you use to get around, make sure you follow the rules of the road. Pretend you are driving a car and do your best to stay to the right when traveling down the hallways or aisles. Don't stop abruptly if you are leading a line because you might get rear ended and cause an accident! And watch out for toes! Don't run over anybody!

If you don't have mobility equipment then watch out for those who do! Help them with doors or get something out of the way for them if they need it moved. BUT please remember to ask if a person needs help before you do this though because they may or may not want to try and do it themselves first.

See someone sitting alone or who looks like they need a friend? Pretend it's you and think how you might feel if you were that person, then be a leader and go strike up conversation with them.  It could lead to a lifelong friendship and you will never know till you try.

Planning a celebration and want to invite the kids in your class? First and foremost: take into consideration who is in your class and what they can or can't do. Make your plans around the abilities of EVERYONE so they all can participate in the good time to be had at your star party!

The most important thing to remember when you walk out the door in the morning is to BEE a star by being who you are!  There is only one you!

Dare to BEE square Daddy-O!

See ya!

A Walk & Roll Adventure to Jeff City!

Well...here we are! The day after our first ever field trip!  It was one of the most invigorating  experiences I've ever had.  A day full of fun and impending adventure, advocating for people with disabilities. 

We were a crew of 15 passengers accompanied by a very cool coach driver named Johnnie, who got us there and back safely!

Who's behind the wheel?  None other than the fabulous Johnnie Jordan!

We met with Senators and State Reps and got a glimpse of what it takes to rally for a great cause.  It comes down to the following words of wisdom composed and written by my daughter Mia.  I'm  even more proud to be her mom than I was before!

We were a mix of kids and adults representing various counties, educational backdrops and cultures and we all had one thing in mind: helping kids.  It was awesome.

Mia & Erika

Erika, Mary Pat, Theo, Graham, Christian & Mia with Senator Eric Schmitt

And every vote does count so make sure you do too!!

Alert! Alert!

Howdy Partner!

Just back in the saddle from a trip to Columbia, MO for the first session in a series called Partners In Policymaking. An eight month segue of classes put on by the Missouri Developmental Disabilities Council, (formerly the Missouri Planning Council for Developmental Disabilities),  to train people to advocate for others with disabilities.

Participants are by selection and are people with disabilities or parents of kids with disabilities.  It was an eye opening experience and I learned a lot not just from the great lineup of presenters who came to share stories and insight, but also from the diverse group of  participants there to be educated.  I also learned a lot from myself as I had to sleep and shower in a room with someone I had never met before.   Out of all the valuable information garnered from that weekend, the most humbling piece I came back with is how much I have yet to learn about life in general.  I used to think I knew everything too.  Just ask my family. 

Anyway, it was a two day boatload of information to process with tons of practical info to pass along.   Common sense stuff that somehow falls by the wayside for a lot of us, me included.  I will be sharing lessons from those two days over the course of time, but one that stands out prominently and needs immediate attention is "People First!"

I am extremely embarrassed to say as someone who endeavors to promote inclusion and diversity, I had never heard this term before in the context it was used.  People first. People are people first.  Some people have disabilities but their disability is not who they are.  It is just one of the attributes of their person and does not define them.  This is all true and what it boils down to is we need to quit stereotyping.  
  
First of all, let's get this straight.  I am not talking about listening to music at high decibels while typing on a computer.   I do that all the time.  I am referring to the BAD habit of attaching labels to people.  Labels emit images in people's minds.

Examples:

The Irish actor that plays in those movies...(A roguish character actor potraying Irish speaking film, stage or TV roles).

The crippled girl at school...(A sickly, pathetic sounding female figure; a morbid individual,  roaming the halls of school with a ball and chain rattling behind her).

I once read that Cillian Murphy,  the actor, doesn't like to be referred to as an Irish actor.  Even though he was born and raised in Ireland, it makes sense if you think about it; he doesn't want to be stereotyped in his work.  He is not ashamed of his Irish heritage, but he doesn't want to be identified solely by that attribute of his person.   If he marketed himself as "the Irish actor, Cillian Murphy", casting agents and directors might think the only roles he could play would be those of Irish men, and that is not the case with him at all. Although he does have a very heavy Irish accent and can play Irish characters very well, he speaks fluent French and can mimic a great American dialect no problemo.  As a result he is a much sought after actor and has had great success portraying a wide array of diverse characters--not just one.  He is a person first, with many talents and traits, and that is how he wants to be known.   

Cillian Murphy:  he is an actor, from Ireland.  If you don't know who he is, he's the guy who played Scarecrow in Batman Begins.  Yep, that's him.  Dr Crane.  Bet you couldn't even hear his Irish accent in that movie!

The same goes for people with disabilities.  People have names first and that is how they want to be recognized.  NOT like in the following fictional example of dialogue between a couple planning a birthday party for their school aged child and her classmates. 

"Is that everybody?  Hmm...Hmm...Hmm...Who else is there? Oh yeah...what's her name...the handicapped kid?...You know...the little crippled girl?....The one with special needs?!!  What's her name?    You've seen her.  The one with the walker!  What's wrong with her, again?...Is she retarded?... "

"Oh, I can't remember...I don't know what's wrong with her.  Oh...are you sure?  Should we invite her to the skating party for little Lulu?  She doesn't fit in with the other kids.  Maybe we shouldn't.  She'll never know."

"No. I guess not.  What would she do anyway?  Besides that, Lulu might catch what she's got!"

A sad story indeed.  This one has a better ending:  

"Hey, you know who we forgot!?!  Phoebe!  What about Phoebe?"

"Oh my, garsh!  How could we forget Phoebe!!!  What were we thinking!?!  Although... wait a minute...is she going to be able to participate in the skating part of the party?  Remember... she has some special gear so I don't know how well that will work for her with skates." 

"You're right.  Maybe we should come up with a different party idea so she can participate too?   She might feel funny sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else whizz by while she just sits there. She might get lonely!" 

"We can't leave her out, the kids love her!!!  Hey! I know!   What about that new cupcakery around the corner?!"

"Awesome!  I love it!  Great idea!  This is going to be a blast!"

The little "crippled" girl:  A figment of the couples imagination who never materialized because she was forgotten.    The parent's antiquated and archaic attitudes, language and actions toward others with disabilities her kept her weak and pathetic in their minds so they never allowed their little Lulu to be near her.  The family never fully matured.  The little girl on the other hand, is doing quite well... 

Meet Phoebe (pronounced fee bee): A female with a congenital physical disability.  It's nothing contagious, it's something she was born with, like her brown hair.  With her mobility equipment at the ready, she's a girl on the go and always up for adventure.  She doesn't let anything hold her back from having a great time!  It's the WAY she is, not the "what" she is that makes this square bee stand out from the crowd!  psst...(She reminds me a lot of my daughter!)

Stereotyping is what is wrong!  It is detrimental to social development and holds people back.  Don't let it happen in your household!

The holidays are over, a new year has begun...

Start the year off on the right foot by remembering to say "Thank You" with a nice handwritten note to anyone who sent you something or did something nice for you over the holidays.   

Keep it short, sweet, to the point and don't forget to mention the gift or action you are thanking the person for in the first place.

It will make a big impact!  Remember the smile you have on your face when you get something addresed to you in the mail that has a nice message.  You will be giving that same smile to someone else just by taking a few minutes out of your day to do this! 

Happy Day to you!